"When everything's wrong, you make it right"

I haven't been on here in like four months. Holy crap, y'all. I'm still breathing, I swear. 

Hm, let's see; a lot has transpired since January. Like, a lot. I guess the best place to start would be how things are going with Chris, the airman I started dating in January. Four months later and things are going wonderful. That's not to say things are "perfect" like there haven't been bumps in the road but that's what makes a healthy relationship, right? During Spring Break in March we booked a room at a really nice hotel in Dallas for the weekend, we both needed a little break from the stress of the real world, and it could not have been a more perfect weekend. Neither of us was ready to leave that Sunday. Then on Monday night he broke up with me. Excuse me, I mean he decided we needed to "take a break". Please tell me I'm not the only person who immediately thinks of Ross Geller screaming, "WE WERE ON A BREAK" on Friends upon hearing that phrase. It was so weird. Earlier in the evening everything was normal, we were laying around his apartment laughing and talking. I knew he was under a lot of stress dealing with his job and all of the fighting he was having to do regarding settling his Dad's estate. Right before the whole "take a break" conversation (literally, like the sentence before he dropped that line) he was telling me how our relationship was the most normal one he's ever been in. Long story short I gave him back his key that night and left furious, hurt, confused, and heartbroken. And then three days later we got back together. When asked about it now he'll say, "I knew I fucked up the minute I let you walk out that door". Two weeks later he flew out to Florida for a week to deal with some business stuff regarding his Dad's estate. Neither of us were thrilled about being away from each other for a week so he, on a whim, decided to fly me out to Florida to be with him for the rest of his trip. God I love that boy. When I got out of class Thursday afternoon I rushed to Dallas to catch my flight and finally landed in Orlando around 11:30 that night. I was exhausted when I got there but seeing Chris' face light up when he saw me was adorably priceless. I'm a huge Harry Potter fan, and had never been to Florida before, so the next day he took me to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter for the day. The whole day left me speechless and frequently stopping to look around at my surroundings in stunned amazement (which Chris found adorable and hilarious). We went to the beach for a little bit, and the rest of the trip was spent hanging out with his best friends (whom I got along with perfectly), and spending a little bit of time with his aunt who graciously let us stay with her while we were there. She was such a sweetheart. It was great finally getting to meet the most important people in Chris' life that I had heard so much about, and to see where he grew up, but what was better was seeing how excited Chris was to have me there to show me all of it. I can't wait to go back and spend more time there with him. As cheesy and cliche as it sounds he's become my best friend. He's the one that keeps me giggling and smiling in-between serious conversations, the one who frequently dresses up in a kilt and horse mask and patiently waits at his apartment just so he can see my stunned reaction when I walk in the door because he knows it's been a terrible day and I need the laughs. He spoils me, finds my awkwardness adorable, and loves me well. He's my favorite. 

I had a fairly worrisome health scare last week that's added quite a bit of anxiety (because I totally needed more of that in my life, right?). Monday morning I had to meet with a nurse practioner to get set up as a new patient since my former doctor unfortunately doesn't accept our new insurance. While sitting in the waiting room I started feeling a bit light-headed and dizzy, but I'm used to it and it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. It got worse in the exam room though, to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out if I tried to sit up. The NP didn't seem too worried about it, and still sent the lab down to do a shit ton of bloodwork. In the middle of having blood drawn everything started going white and the room started spinning. I had never fully passed out before, but I've come close enough to know that's exactly what was about to happen. "I'm not feeling so good, I think I'm about to pass out," I said. The NP simply said, "You're fine, just breathe," and then I promptly passed out on the table. Great way to make a first impression. Yeah...I was totally fine. Even better, she gave me the option to drive myself home less than an hour later. What a genius. If you give me the option to drive myself home versus waiting for one of my parents to come get me, hell yeah I'm going to drive myself home regardless of how bad I feel. Needless to say I don't feel comfortable with this woman practicing medicine. Later that afternoon she called me to let me know my bloodwork came back great, "practically perfect" actually. Which means we have no fucking clue why I've been having the spells I've been having or what caused me to pass out. Then she tried to argue with me about forwarding the results to my hemotologist, claiming she wouldn't want to see me after seeing that my labs are perfect. "She wanted to see me regularly for maintance check-ups," I told her. "She was going to refer me to other specialist to see if we could figure out what's wrong with me and if/where I'm bleeding internally to cause the bruising". Begrudingly she finally said she'd make the referal. Something tells me I'm going have to check on that. Health scares are always scary (duh). But it worries me more to know that, according to my blood, medically I'm fine. "Healthy" normal people don't have random black out spells for no reason. They don't feel dizzy, light-headed, or shaky unless something is wrong. Unless you're at an amusement park the room you're standing in shouldn't start to spin. Dark purple, almost black, bruises don't appear on the skin just for fun (and no, I am not being beaten). Something is obviously very wrong and that terrifies me more than I can say. 

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