So here's the good thing going on in my life at the moment. Thanks to the bullshit fallout that happened with the family I used to nanny for, I obviously don't get to keep Molly when they go out of town or even see her. I was really missing her, which definitely wasn't helping my depression, and decided maybe now would be a good time to bring home a goldendoodle of my own. My dad and I made an agreement if he'd put a $200 toward a goldendoodle puppy to help me out that I'd happily consider that my Christmas. No surprise, he liked the idea. So I literally looked all over the country for one. I desperately wanted to find a rescue goldendoodle no more than two that needed a home, but I had no luck. I'm not a huge fan of breeders and goldendoodles end up in shelters a lot because people don't do their damn research on the breed. They need a TON of room to run, so their terrible apartment puppies, and they're an incredibly social breed which means they require even more social interaction than your typical puppies. They develop separation anxiety incredibly easy.
As I've said, I'm not a huge fan of breeders. For weeks I tracked down goldendoodle puppies and researched their breeders. I was having a hard time finding a breeder that met my standards. Another issue was the price. In case you don't know, goldendoodles are considered a hypo-allergenic dog because they typically dont shed; which means if you or your kid is allergic to dander and pet hair a goldendoodle is the perfect breed for you. Because of this, they've become a popular, high-in-demand, "designer" breed. Which means some breeders have figure out many families will be willing to pay anything for one and they're taking advantage of that. If they're considered a "rare" color like red, you can expect the price to double. And females are always way higher. Most of the red females I were finding in my area were $2,000. No joke. I was finding some cheaper ones up north, but I'd have to pay to have them shipped and that gets expensive.
Finally, after checking Craiglist for the 1,000th time that week, I ran across an ad that caught my attention. They were a litter of f1b mini-goldendoodles. F1b means one parent was a poodle and the other was a goldendoodle, so they tend to have curlier hair/more waves and definitely won't shed. So on December 8th I texted the breeder to see if she had any red females. She had one girl and after seeing the picture she sent me of her at 5weeks old I fell in love. So, on December 16th I brought home the cutest puppy ever and named her Penny. She's incredibly smart, she knew her name by the end of her first day! She turned 3months on the 21st and she's never cried for her litter mates or mom, she latched onto me from day one!
I can't tell you the amount of joy this dog has brought me in just a few short months. The day after I got her she went to my therapy session with me, and has gone to every one since (plus an appointment with my psychiatrist). She goes just about everywhere with me. I had therapy on Monday, Penny went with me of course, and even my therapist commented on how much happier I am with Penny in my life. She said, "I've never seen you this happy". Am I still fighting depression and working on recovery from an eating disorder? Yes, Penny doesn't make those struggles magically disappear. But does she make it easier for me and give me the motivation to fight it? Absolutely. She makes me smile so much my cheeks hurt by the end of the day. I'm laughing again, and not the fake hollow laugh but a real laugh, she's so goofy. I don't want to lay in the bed and sulk, I want to be outside with her playing or taking walks. She motivates me to pull my camera gear out because she's just so darn cute. I'm looking to getting her certified as an emotional support/service dog once she's calmed down enough to pass the test (so.much.energy.).
She's my fur-baby. She follows me everywhere, tries to get in the shower with me, swings her hips when she walks, tries to get the puppy in the mirror to play, and watches Netflix with me every night. Could I really afford to spend so much money on her right now? No, and I won't lie to you when I say I've been having anxiety over not having money and not finding a new job. But was Penny worth it? You best your ass she is. And not just because she a cute, cuddly, puppy. Even without the proper training she really is an emotional support for me right now. She's bringing me legitimate happiness and joy. She's bringing the light back into the world that turned so dark for me. And that's exactly why, to me, she's priceless.
Enjoy the pictures!
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