"When everything's wrong, you make it right"

I haven't been on here in like four months. Holy crap, y'all. I'm still breathing, I swear.  Hm, let's see; a lot has transpired since January. Like, a lot. I guess the best place to start would be how things are going with Chris, the airman I...

"Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself"

Nana went home yesterday! 51 hellacious days after her fall later, and she finally got to go home. God is so good, y'all. She's still having trouble with her speech, and she's not quite back to her sweet self, but I'm still praying for that to change...

"I don't want to run and I can't walk out"

I can think of only one way to start this post, and that is by simply saying: Fuck.This.Shit. I know, such an eloquent way to start a post. Sorry. I don't want this post, or any of my posts really, to come across as, "oh look. Another privileged,...

Steal, Kill, and Destroy

Scripture says that, like a thief in the night, the enemy comes to "steal, kill, and destroy". For some reason this verse popped in my head while I was on the phone with a friend last week before I stepped into ICU. We weren't even talking about my...

"When hardships come to prey on hopes"

I'm not entirely sure how to write this post coherently, or if I can. I am currently sitting in a empty ICU room, shaking like a leaf, surrounded by disconnected wires and machines, waiting for my grandmother, Nana, to be brought back from her MRI. I...

Ah, Therapy. We Meet Again.

In February my therapist, whom I've seen off and on for like ten years, moved. At the time I was seeing her every two weeks and, despite the fact she reminded me numerous times in advance about her departure, I quite honestly was in denial about it....

Furiously Sad

After meeting Jenny Lawson, I felt really good. My depression level was low and the eating disorder thoughts in my head that usually tell me how much of a failure I am were staying quiet. Here's the thing about me, I have, according to my therapist,...

Furiously Happy

  Hi all, The weekend before this past one was exactly what I had been needing. One of my absolute favorite authors and bloggers, Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess, is currently on tour promoting her new book Furiously Happy, and Saturday she did...

Brace yourself, a long post is coming.

Hey all, One of the (many) things I didn't mention in my last post was if anything else ever happened with the, traumatizing, fallout that happened with Ashley and her family. No, things didn't magically get better. For months if I ever accidently...

No, I'm not dead.

  Hey all,   I haven't been on here since like October...dang. Things have been kinda crazy around here as usual. Uh, my eating disorder is out in the open now as far as doctors go. Yeah. And of course my mom still gave her whole "you don't...

The Shit Hit the Fan: continued

Things weren't getting any better, but they weren't exactly getting worse (aside from my eating) and I still got to see the boys at church so I just forced myself to get through each day. Anytime I worked in Timothy's classroom he was glued to my...

Simply put: the shit hit the fan

It's been months since my last post, and for good reason. I've been dealing with so much hell the past couple of months. I had no desire to talk about it with anyone but my therapist really, all I really wanted to do was curl up in a dark room and not...

Therapy: Round Two

My motivation to blog these days is shit. Sorry, y'all. Monday of last week I had my second session with my therapist. I felt more comfortable than I did during my first session, and I felt way better afterwards. I talked about Jayne a little bit...

Greatest Gift I've Given

When I found out Ashley couldn't afford to keep me once school starts, I decided I wanted to do something really special for her and Marilyn as a thank you for the past year. And I thought, what better way to do that than with a photobook of the boys?...

And so begins the new chapter

It's taken me a few days to get this written, as in I've been writing it for a few days (not that it's taken me a while to log in to the site to start writing it). So I apologize if this runs a bit long. The first few bits are about my last week(ish)...

"This is where the healing begins"

A week ago Monday, I met with my new primary doctor. Anyone that's read my posts knows how much I hated my previous doctor, the pediatrician, but when we didn't have any insurance I didn't really have a choice but to stay with him. Plus he was one of...